the Extraordinary ordinary

“Why am I going to college?” Imagine your ideal college experience. Classes I wanna take and why

hmm. im thinking, everyone wants to be loved. I mean, that’s like one of humans’ instincts. But— do we love everyone? no. We love certain people with certain characteristics - usually based on their appearance or actions. but when i think about it, do i look or act the way “I am” ? Of course, appearance or actions can certainly reflect my characteristics or my feature. but honestly… i sometimes talk the way i didn’t want to, or act in a way that i didn’t mean to. I don’t want to be judged based on the way i look, talk, and act. I want to be loved the way i am inside - my thoughts, values, and … “the way i am.” With that said, do i love others the way i want to be loved? Sometimes, i criticize people who go for appearance, but realize that i am doing the same thing. I guess it’s something natural to like someone who looks hot (LOL…no kidding!) or who has a good manner. However, it is NOT RIGHT for me to judge the person just based on external factors. I want to be the person who can see the inside!! thoughts, beliefs, faith, and such everlasting things, because external things can vanish so quickly… things inside of you will last forever. God even said that he sees our hearts when humans see appearance. I can never be God, but i can certainly stop judging people, right? from now on,  i’ll try to go for people’s hearts and minds instead of their mere appearance. sometimes, it’s hard to eat the marshmallow later, but in the end, the kids who wait will be the winners. Don’t eat the marshmallows yet! :]

im in mann library, studying for the last last final ! (NO. TUMBLING and FACBOOKING instead) ohhhh i don’t really want to know how gender inequality begins at home and I don’t really want to identify three distinct mechanisms through which the division of household labor affects the gender gap in earning… Seriously…!?!?!?!?WHAT. ARE. YOUU. SAYINGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paper due tomorrow. But i’m writing a tumblr post anyways. haha.  My definition of true friends is to trust, forgive, and love. But I feel like some people judge me based on my actions and don’t like me for who i am. It’s more ironic when christians do that…. I don’t know WHYY and its very weird that i feel more comfortable being myself with friends who are not christians (of course i have nice friends who are christians, but just generalizing.)   some christians judge people… i feel like many just isolate themselves with rest of the world.. im thinking… aren’t you supposed to reach out to the people who don’t know Christ?  i might be wrong, but im just curious.. Why do they only criticize who are not christians? I think people should be more like helping others who are having problems in faith (like me… im having problems lol) anyways, it’s very hypocritical… and annoying to see people acting sacred when they are hating and witch-hunting people who don’t know Christ. This might be an excuse, but this partly became one of the reasons why im not going to church anymore…even though i know that i should be going to church… but i don’t want my reason to go to church is to show off my faith to others. honestly, I don’t care if people judge me for that.  am i too liberal to say this or what… I don’t know… :( just wanna finish this papeRR!!

it’s always hard not in the beginning, but in the end.. T_ T I wanna give up on everythingg right now..but i guess it’s a temporary feeling… today’s a bad day, i guesss T_T I didn’t go to class, i was not paying attention even when i did. i have two presentations today… and i feel sick… ALSO… I have finals to study and a project to work on… and I HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING OHH EMM… GE…E…T^T

hahahahahahahhahahhahah this is a pointless post.